Life is busy. Overwhelming at times.
Full of to-do’s and self expectations.
YES – SELF expectations.
Ladies we expect too much from ourselves! We are sometimes our worst critics.
Here are just a few of my self-expectations (exaggerated just a tad)
- My home should be immaculate
- My husband should come home to a hot meal and well behaved children
- I should do daily crafts and projects with my children
- The laundry should be cleaned ironed and folded daily.(note the exaggeration- I NEVER iron)
- My children should never watch TV (because we all know what happens when children watch PBS… right?) ahem, please note sarcasm.
My list could go on and on. I do think striving for these things in our home is a good thing, however, allowing these self-expectations to drain ourselves or our homes of peace is not.
I have one amazingly simple way to solve this issue.
Sit down and talk. Explain your feeling of overwhelm, be honest- your husband is your best friend, he fights daily for you and your family and he want’s to protect you. He does not want you to feel this way. I did this a few years ago and I know I need to do it again.
Ask your husband this question, “what chores/duties do you want me to make a priority?”
For example I asked my husband, “What do you think my priorities should be in the home, what chores in the house do you appreciate the most.“
His answer: Happy children, clean floors, clean counters and clean work clothes. That’s it.
WHAT!?!?! You mean I’ve been spending hours trying to keep up with the dishes, dust the living room, make beds and pick up toys; I thought that I had to do EVERYTHING all the time. Come to find out, he could care less if the baseboards were dusted! Now, that’s not to say that my husband loves dirty dishes in the sink or loves toys scattered throughout the house or piles of laundry here and there. Nobody LOVES that. He just appreciates and is blessed when I make sure that the kids are happy and floors, counters and work clothes are clean.
For you work-at-home mommas – I am also a business owner and work from home 2-3hours a day on average. So on top of caring for our children and home I’m also trying to balance my business as well as a part-time retail job. If you’re in this position I’d encourage you to also have a discussion with your husband about priorities including your job. Working from home is difficult. Organizing your day is a struggle, but when you know what’s important to your husband you are 1/2 way there.
Trust me, if you haven’t had this conversation with your husband, you might be surprised what you hear. I don’t believe that our husbands expect us to be perfect. (If yours does, please seek counseling, it’s impossible to do all things all the time!) If your husband supports your choice to be a stay at home mom, then you can relax knowing that you’re doing a great job and that this season of busyness is short, you’ll have plenty of time to dust the baseboards later!