Family/ Home and Family

Finding Peace in Your Priorities

 

Life is busy. Overwhelming at times.

Full of to-do’s and self expectations.

YES – SELF expectations.

Ladies we expect too much from ourselves! We are sometimes our worst critics.

 

Here are just a few of my self-expectations (exaggerated just a tad)

  1. My home should be immaculate
  2. My husband should come home to a hot meal and well behaved children
  3. I should do daily crafts and projects with my children
  4. The laundry should be cleaned ironed and folded daily.(note the exaggeration- I NEVER iron)
  5. My children should never watch TV (because we all know what happens when children watch PBS… right?) ahem, please note sarcasm.

My list could go on and on. I do think striving for these things in our home is a good thing, however, allowing these self-expectations to drain ourselves or our homes of peace is not.

I have one amazingly simple way to solve this issue.

Talk.to.your.husband

Sit down and talk. Explain your feeling of overwhelm, be honest- your husband is your best friend, he fights daily for you and your family and he want’s to protect you. He does not want you to feel this way. I did this a few years ago and I know I need to do it again.

Ask your husband this question, “what chores/duties do you want me to make a priority?”

For example I asked my husband, “What do you think my priorities should be in the home, what chores in the house do you appreciate the most.

His answer: Happy children, clean floors, clean counters and clean work clothes. That’s it.

WHAT!?!?! You mean I’ve been spending hours trying to keep up with the dishes, dust the living room, make beds and pick up toys; I thought that I had to do EVERYTHING all the time. Come to find out, he could care less if the baseboards were dusted!  Now, that’s not to say that my husband loves dirty dishes in the sink or loves toys scattered throughout the house or piles of laundry here and there. Nobody LOVES that. He just appreciates and is blessed when I make sure that the kids are happy and floors, counters and work clothes are clean.

For you work-at-home mommas – I am also a business owner and work from home 2-3hours a day on average. So on top of caring for our children and home I’m also trying to balance my business as well as a part-time retail job. If you’re in this position I’d encourage you to also have a discussion with your husband about priorities including your job. Working from home is difficult. Organizing your day is a struggle, but when you know what’s important to your husband you are 1/2 way there.

Trust me, if you haven’t had this conversation with your husband, you might be surprised what you hear. I don’t believe that our husbands expect us to be perfect. (If yours does, please seek counseling, it’s impossible to do all things all the time!) If your husband supports your choice to be a stay at home mom, then you can  relax knowing that you’re doing a great job and that this season of busyness is short, you’ll have plenty of time to dust the baseboards later!



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  • Kalee
    November 1, 2010 at 9:47 am

    I’ve been using Ann’s term of a nasty case of “perfectionism” a lot lately to remind myself that I can strive to do everything perfectly, but when I don’t get there to just let it go.

    And is that pic from your home, by chance? I was wanting to do a wall like that and looking for ways to convince my husband we wouldn’t be odd with a hundred crucifixes on a wall. 🙂

  • Susan
    November 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    I loved this article! Thank you for sharing. I speak on Priority Management and I love how you fit in this unrealistic idea of the expectations we moms place upon ourselves. Most often they are not placed on us by someone else, just us. I will be adding a few of your wonderful points to my talk tomorrow, with credit to you of course – thanks!

  • Jenny Yarbrough
    November 5, 2010 at 12:21 am

    I love this Donna! You are so right… we expect way too much of ourselves! My husband and I are going out of town this weekend… ALONE!!! I’m going to do what you suggest and ask him! Thank!

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